Geese approach the world like bad actors in an equally bad prison show. If you wander onto their turf, they will charge you. And if you run, they will keep attacking you whenever they feel like it. You are, in their mind, little geese bitches, and they are the alpha geese. They own you, and can trade you for cigarettes and shit.
WELL NO MORE. Make sure that whenever you’re around the geese, you’ve got something to swing at them. The point of this is not to hit the geese. But whenever they come at you, HISS, and swing at them. For me, my messenger bag worked very well. If they keep coming, flat-out charge them. YOU ARE NOW THE GOOSE OVERLORD. FUCKING ACT LIKE IT.
Once they stop attacking you, it’s time to move onto the next stage. Anything geese like is alright for this, but I used cracked corn. It’s inexpensive, and can be found in the pet/wild bird feed section of grocery stores.
Start to feed the geese. Right now, do NOT try to feed from the hand. Throw it on the ground, and let them come to you. If they try to take the food from you, or act aggressive, ignore them and/or shoo them away if they get too close. They do not have a right to the food. It is YOURS, and you are sharing.
If there are other birds, such as ducks or less aggressive geese, make sure to feed these as well. Feed them FIRST, and make sure not to give too much attention to the geese. While feeding, it’s important to stay still in one place, whether it be sitting or standing. The more you do this, the more comfortable the geese will be around you. After a few feedings, I had the Canadian geese just chill right beside me and brush their wings up against me. If you have food and don’t act like a predator, they simply don’t care if you’re close.
Once you’re comfortable at this point, you can begin to try and feed the geese from your hand. Put a good amount of food in your hand, and offer it to them the next time they are close enough. Even if they nibble at your hand, it won’t hurt. At this point, they’re not using attack force, they’re just nibbling.
You’ll probably notice when it’s ok to touch the geese. They will stretch their wings around you, and not avoid touching you as they used to. When you DO touch them, don’t try and go in for a regular pet, over hand, with their wings or anything. Just brush up against their side or underside while feeding them, and then see how they react.
Made it to this point? CONGRATULATIONS. YOU ARE NOW A GOOSE OVERLORD.
“If you’re enthusiastic enough about stuff — even if you’re not good at it — your enthusiasm will get you to the point where people allow you to do it enough so that you become good at it.”—Daniel Radcliffe (via laksjdhfg09)